Support

Regan and I were so excited when we found out we were pregnant for a second time. When we got pregnant with Lincoln, we did the whole announcement thing on social media. This time, I didn't feel it was necessary. I told my mom the day we found out, but Regan and I were in agreement that we were going to keep it between us 3 until we hit 12 weeks..the "safe" zone.

Then at 8 weeks, my sister in law shared that she was 7 weeks along, so I couldn't keep it from my siblings anymore, and I wanted to share in the excitement that would be two babies back to back! Since we told my dad, and brother and sisters, we then decided we would tell Regan's parents as well. Everyone was very excited, but I still wanted to wait until 12 weeks to put it beyond that.

12 weeks rolls around and we share it with our extended families. It was all very exciting to share our news, but I still wasn't ready to put it on social media. At 14 weeks, we did a blood test to find out the gender and were over the moon to be giving Lincoln a brother. A literal dream come true. Something was still holding me back from sharing the news on a public forum. I remember talking to a friend and telling her I wanted to wait until the anatomy scan to confirm gender and make sure everything was fine. I even bought a baby boy balloon that was ready to use for the announcement photo. Looking back it's as if I knew something was up that was preventing me from diving head first into sharing the news.

At our anatomy scan, our whole plan changed. We shared with our families everything we learned, and as we got more information, we continued to share that out to our families, but that was the extent of it. I didn't feel comfortable putting anything out on the internet because it was all so personal, and so much was still unknown and I was understandably scared.

We sent out our Christmas card last year and did attach a note to let our families and friends know in more detail what we were going through at that time with all the information we had. It felt good to share, and also to include more people to continue to pray over Beckett and our family but still not so public that Joe Shmoe from Algebra 2 was reading about our life.

When Beckett was born, we [mostly Regan] were keeping our families aware of what was going on with him in the NICU as we got more test results, but I was honestly fine never posting to the world that we had another baby because I was scared of the reality we were facing. Then Regan said it would be better to make a post to reach everyone and tell them what was going on, that way we wouldn't have to answer so many questions, which I understood. It was very difficult to talk about and by making a post sharing what we knew, people wouldn't have to ask why he was sick or why we were keeping our distance from others. I definitely agreed to what his thoughts were and we made a post.

Social media is an interesting place. It shows a lot of the highlights of peoples lives, and I was afraid of what people would think if we put a picture of Beckett and he was in an assisted chair, or maybe he had a feeding tube. I'll admit, it is hard seeing other people with their babies progressing and all the milestones they are hitting at all the right times, knowing how Beckett is behind and may never hit those same milestones. It's easy to judge other peoples lives when you really have no idea what is going on, and frankly I didn't want people to know what was going on with mine.

However, after making that announcement, we had many people reaching out to us in support and I could not be more grateful. People we hadn't talked to in a long time, friends, relatives. We have so many people who support us and we are so grateful for everyone.

My mom has done so much for us since my anatomy scan back in September. She comes to stay with us frequently to help with all the appointments we have, because someone has to stay home with Lincoln. She comes to provide moral support, she cooks our meals, she does everything she can for us. She also takes the best care of Lincoln when he goes to stay at her house. I really could not have made it these last 8 months without her, but especially this past month with Regan being gone. Anyone who knows her, knows how special of a human she is, and frankly my dad counts his lucky stars 😉 there's no one like my mom.

Behind our parents, we have the greatest siblings. Lincoln loves his cousins and he has the absolute best time with them. If he ever had to stay for an extended period with them, he'd have no idea he was even away from home. 

We have so many family members who we could turn to for help, there's countless friends of ours and friends of my parents who we could reach out to, whether they are an hour away, or 4 hours away, or even one day when they're states away. A laundry list of people willing and ready to help us if and when we ever need it and it does not go unnoticed.

I never thought I would be putting myself in such a vulnerable place by sharing all of this with you, as it's all so scary for us, and so incredibly personal. I'm glad that we have so many people who care about us and continue to pray for Beckett. I may not know now why God chose us to be Beckett's parents, but He knew Beckett needed to be in a loving and supportive family and that's right where he is.