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Dad's Home (Sorta)

Hi there, its Regan. I wanted to make a post as a way to reflect on some recent events that have happened over the last week, and also to show support to my family who I owe everything to. For those who follow the blog, you'll know that I was away to The National Training Center at Ft. Irwin (NTC) for 40 days, and I returned last Wednesday. My time there was great, I learned a lot, and made connections that'll last my entire life. But the overwhelming feeling I had was the desire to return home to Lesley and the kids. I made it home, but it hasn't gone exactly like I expected it to.


On roughly day 25 at NTC, I started developing a bad cough, lost my voice, sore throat, and just felt sick overall. I passed it off as the sickness that everyone else was having and was assured it wasn't COVID. On day 30, I went to Sick Call, and they said that even if it was COVID, they wouldn't test for it since I had symptoms for almost a week by that point. They tested me for Strep, and that was negative. By day 40, I was feeling much better, got my voice back, sore throat was gone, but my cough was still present, and I was tired all day. I figured it was just being exhausted from the training event. 


I arrived back home on Wednesday around 9PM. I was extremely tired, but I had been awake since 3AM that morning, so it made sense why I was so tired. It was such a relief when I finally saw Lesley and Beckett, and I couldn't wait to wake up the next morning to greet Lincoln. I went to bed, feeling anxious but excited to finally be home with my family.


The next morning on Thursday, I woke up feeling like I didn't sleep very well. It didn't matter to me though, because I was home, and finally got to see my whole family. We had the day off work, and I wanted to spend all day holding Beckett, playing with Lincoln, and providing support to Lesley and helping her with whatever she needed. In 26 years, I don't think any moment in my life compares to seeing Lincoln again after 40 days. He was ecstatic to see me, and we played ALL day long. I was happy and right where I wanted to be, but something felt off. I was so tired all day, even after coffee, going outside for hours, and relaxing on the couch watching a movie with him. 


Friday morning, I woke up not feeling much different from the morning before. Surely by this point I would have been rested and feeling back to normal? I had to go into work for a few hours and was home by 2PM. I checked my temperature, all good. I took some allergy medicine and by that point, a thought came into my head. What if I have COVID?


I've had COVID before. Back in 2020, I tested positive, and it was the worst I have ever felt in my life. Chills, body aches, fever, sore throat, headaches, basically every symptom in the book. I compared how I felt then to how I felt at that time and told myself there is no way it was COVID. I have had both vaccines, been boosted, and maintain a fairly good hygiene routine. It didn't add up and I never get sick. That small piece of never getting sick is what made me take an at home test. I immediately went to the kitchen, did the test, and waited. The test says to wait 15 minutes, but within 5 minutes, both lines where showing, meaning it was positive. 


Panic set in. I yelled to Lesley and told her the result. We were both taken back, and my immediate reaction was to leave the house. I tried going to the hospital on post to get another test, but they said they only do it from Monday-Thursday. My only option was to isolate at home and wait till Monday to get a test. 


I by no means want to play "woe is me". I know there are families that are separated much longer than we have been, some who will never see their loved ones again. But this is not how I wanted to return home. Knowing that I could have infected my wife and sons weighs heavy on me. All I wanted to do a week ago was come home and support my wife to whom I owe everything to. My ability to prioritize my career over hers, the clean house I come home to everyday, her unending love for me and my sons, all because she takes pride in being a mother and wife.


As I sit here in my bedroom, reflecting on the last couple days, I want her to know that if there was a Mother/Wife Championship, she would win MVP. I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she means to me, but I will never be able to match the level of care and love she provides. I can try, but she is the Michael Jordan of care and I can only hope to be the 6th Man of the Year at most. Thank you Lesley, for everything you do. You are the shining light during dark times, and I will always support you with anything you ever need. 





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